The Title is Really Self Explainitory

I know we're all broke these days. But being broke in LA does poor a little salt in the wounds. Considering my 73 heap of a super beetle is currently parked next to a BMW and a Lexus outside.

I'll include a picture of this as soon as I can sneak out of my apartment and NOT look like I'm casing some one's car. Probably would be best.

So... why am I broke? I mean, we're all broke... but we all have reasons of being there. I have two... no three... really big reasons.

The first is that I went to school. Isn't that what your parents always told you that you should do? Go to school and the world will take care of you. You'll get a job, be able to support a family, there will be happiness AND lemonade. So... not only did I go to school, get two bachelors, a minor, and tons of job experience... I decided to move out to California to get my Masters. Right away. I didn't waste any time. I was really lucky because my undergrad was free. I left with about 400 on my credit card. That was it. I'm from Arizona. Arizona used to take care of smart kids and lavish them with scholarships so they'll stay in state and not brain drain the state. Ha ha! I took their scholarship, their schooling and left! I showed them.

Now... this is where you're saying... how does this make you broke in LA, Kay?

I went to film school.

Film school is really expensive and you pay more for the better programs for the most part. I went to the cheapest of expensive schools out here on the shortest Master's program I could find. And I did it all on student loans. I'll give you a hint. My Sister went to Med School for 4 years and her debt is on par with mine.

This is not a warning against film school. It really isn't. I loved film school. I worked really hard, I learned to write like I always wanted to write. I went to a film festival with my movie playing and there was an open bar... fir 4 days. Life was pretty damn good.

However, I left film school... like you do... and had to get a job.

This is the first problem.
I'm well educated. Not Ivy League well educated, but I mean to say that I thrive well in academia and I have paper to show for it. Two Bachelors, 1 MFA, and a certificate hang on my wall. And they look fabulous on my resume. The Bachelors are in English and Biology which make my prospects decently well rounded. I have a strong analytical mind as well as a creative side. But most employers aren't interested in the creative side, so I just hum instead of say that last bit.

And then the MFA, it's in writing. So it shows that I can communicate in ways beyond the ordinary human beings... I can do it with proper grammar and spelling.... on PAPER! On via e-mail.

No one wants to hire someone like this. Do you know what all this paper spells out: leader. Doesn't take orders. Wants YOUR job. Oh, and, needs enough of a salary to pay off her student loans.

And that's how Target denied me. TARGET! Petco. Ups. The list goes on. Since graduation, I have applied to hundreds of places. I went through the typing tests of a temp agency and months passed and they said they just didn't have work for someone like me. (Someone who asked for $12 an hour, I suppose?) Now, I don't mean to act like I'm entitled just because I got a degree, but $12 an hour I think is reasonable for someone to pay. I made 11 an hour at my last job and everyone was underpaid and often left the company for better paid work elsewhere. Therefore, 12 should be on par with what people are getting paid there 2 years later. My dreams weren't that lofty. I was willing to work my way up.

So... that's problem #1 of being broke. I'm too educated and apparently no one wants to pay me $12 an hour to be their employee.

Second Problem is:

I did get a job and it sucks. Sometimes it can be great, since it's commission based. But because it's commission based, it's a den of unscrupulous thieves including the company. I think there are good people there... I'm not trying to insult them, just the company itself is a system of making money (duh) and the needs of it's people come secondary. Since it's commission based, there's a great distrust on who determines our numbers.

Also, there's no work this month. There hasn't been work since December for my job... which means I can't pay my bills. I have worked 20+ hours in the last few weeks and my paycheck for 2 weeks was $30.

So, I do have a job, but an utterly unreliable one where me as an employee is not cared about a lick. I do have the benefits of free time where I can sit at home and watch the bills pile up. It feels a lot like being unemployed... but somehow a boss calls me every couple of days. Strange to answer to someone when they aren't paying you, eh?

And the third reason is... drum roll please...
I still REALLY want to pursue my passion in film. Look, I know, everyone says that. But I've disliked so many jobs, I've done the restaurant thing, I've done the retail thing, I've done lab work, office work, and I even managed a group home. And I'm not proud of any of the work I did. It was just work and when I'd go home, I'd write. I'd dream of getting a chance to write and doing something that... though maybe hard work... I could find satisfaction in.

Which is why I'm in LA. I just moved here... before my job utterly fell out from under me... so I spent all of my and my boyfriend's money on the deposit. He quit his job to find work up here... And together we people watch at fancy malls, seeing people who are so lucky to what they have.
I could go home to Arizona, live with my mother, and not be broke. But I'm not willing to say goodbye to this dream. I've worked so hard and I'm not willing to give up hope.

However... on the monetary side. I have none.